3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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