Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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