We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
