I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
