waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
