roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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