i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize