I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
