I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
