For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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