Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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