Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
