She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
