I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
