he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
