She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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