That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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