Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
