3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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