Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
