YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
