My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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