We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
