Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
there is glitter all over my balls
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
