Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize