I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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