i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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