Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
