She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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