How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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