I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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