How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
