as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize