let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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