I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
