i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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