We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
