you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
