My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
