She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am spending my child support on dildos
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
