i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
