No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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