At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
