Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
