Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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