tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
