She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
