Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize