My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
