On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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