I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
