Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
