I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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