In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You were trust falling into bushes
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
