Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
